Why are copywriters so keen to dumb down verbs?

September 5, 2013 •
Copywriters and verbs image

I’m as pro-clarity as the next écrivain. But I think the current attack on verbs takes things a little too far.

Some verbs under attack

In this article, for instance, Laura Hale Brockway says we should replace all the verbs in the left column with those on the right:

Not all lazy verbs

I like Laura’s style, and agree with her intent. But I don’t agree with all of these suggestions. There’s a time and a place for some of them.

Verbs I think are OK…

Here’s a few from the list above that I think are fine, in their place. Along with an example of where I’ve used each in the past.

“accompany” vs “go with”
“Go with” doesn’t always say the same thing. And sometimes it sounds a bit flat. I used “accompany” in some real estate web copy here: “
Our property managers accompany each and every prospective tenant…” Now let’s try that with “go with”: “Our property managers go with each and every prospective tenant…” Not quite the same thing. “Accompany” implies the property manager will stay by the tenant’s side during the inspection. “Go with” suggests they’ll go to the property with them, but it doesn’t imply they’ll stick to them like glue.

“ballpark” vs “estimate”
May be splitting hairs, but “ballpark” allows for more movement than “estimate”. It’s an estimate estimate. Best way to illustrate the difference is to use the noun variant: “Are we in the same ballpark?” If I ballpark a job at $10k, it’s kinda like saying it could be $8k or $12k. If I estimate it at $10k, it’s more like saying it could be $9.5k or $10.5k. But that could just be me…?

“consolidate” vs “join”
I could join two pieces of string by tying a knot. But weaving would consolidate them. To me, “consolidate” implies a much closer, more strategic joining. Here’s an example: “Consolidate your systems – Trade your legacy systems in for a single consolidated solution.” If I said “Join your systems”, it would sound like they were just tacked together.

“implement” vs “carry out” or “start”
“Carry out” and “start” don’t always mean the same thing. Here’s an example from some web copy I wrote for a cloud technologies client: “All the protection you know you need, but never had the time or resources to implement.” If we break that down a little, I’d be comfortable saying, “implement that protection”, but not “carry out that protection”. Implement has a broader meaning; it can apply to a solution, not just a series of steps. And “start” doesn’t even come close: “…never had the time or resources to start”. What about finishing?!

“incentivize” vs “motivate”
“Motivate” doesn’t mean the same thing. You can motivate people without incentivizing them. e.g. With fear. Maybe not always as well, but that’s a whole nother story!… (That said, I don’t think I’ve ever actually used “incentivize” in client copy. I’ve definitely used it in conversation though. Usually when my wife tells me to do the washing up! 😉

“leverage” vs “take advantage of”
How is “take advantage of” more succinct than “leverage”? Here’s an example where “take advantage of” wouldn’t have worked as well: “…leverage your knowledge of sales patterns from other states.” Let’s try it: “…take advantage of your knowledge of sales patterns from other states.” The double “of” is very grating. Plus it doesn’t necessarily mean the same thing. “Leverage” implies a strategic use of something to strengthen your approach. “Take advantage of” implies opportunism.

“modify” vs “change”
To me, “modify” says something about the changer’s intent and degree of control. Here’s an example for some brochure copy I wrote for the University of Western Sydney: “Gene scientists employ sophisticated tools and techniques to identify, control, and modify the genes of living organisms.”  I reckon in this context, “change” would have seemed a little random or uncontrolled.

“optimize” vs “improve”
“Improve” doesn’t always mean the same thing as “optimize”. Search engine optimisation is a good example! 😉  And even when improvement is the ultimate goal, “optimize” implies refinement or squeezing the most out of something existing. “Improve” could mean “replace”. Here’s an example from some web copy I wrote for a share market software vendor: “Find out how to optimise your portfolio to get it into the ‘Gold Zone’.” If I’d said “improve”, the reader might have thought we were advocating throwing out the baby with the bathwater.

“utilize” vs “use”
I wouldn’t argue for long about this one, but I think there’s a subtle difference between “use” and “utilise”. It’s kinda like the difference between “take advantage of” and “leverage”, or between “change” and “optimize”. “Utilise” implies some degree of calculated or intelligent use. It’s an extra layer of meaning. Take a look at this copy I wrote for a car dealer: “They utilise the industry’s most advanced formulas…” I know “use” would have made sense, too, but it just wouldn’t have meant quite as much.

I agree with the essence though…

Don’t get me wrong. I agree we should cull the crap from our writing. But I don’t think we should dumb it down.

What do you think?

Feel free to comment...
comment avatar
Angus wrote on September 5th, 2013

I agree with all your examples. Many of these are things I would agree with 90% of the time, but one of our jobs as writers is to recognise the other 10%. There's virtually nothing I'd ban outright. Incidentally, two of her examples aren't verbs: "ballpark/estimate" are nouns (unless people really are using "ballpark" as a verb, which I guess they might be), and "regarding/about" are prepositions.

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Glenn Murray wrote on September 5th, 2013

Yeah, agree. Re the noun/preposition thing, yeah, I use "ballpark" as a verb sometimes. But not "regarding". I missed that entirely! :-P

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Angus wrote on September 5th, 2013

"Let me ballpark that for you"? Interesting! And who am I to judge? Nice work on the new website by the way!

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Glenn Murray wrote on September 5th, 2013

Yeah, I don't know when I started using that one. I don't use it very often, either way. And thanks, re the site. :-)

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Desolie wrote on September 6th, 2013

Hey there Glenn I'm very much an advocate of using simpler words. But it all depends upon the readership. If readers will understand, or if the subtlety of the word is important, we must use the most appropriate word. Like so much in writing, the 'rules' don't always apply - apart from the 'thou shalt know thy audience' rule. Happy writing Desolie

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richard pelletier wrote on September 6th, 2013

Well, this is fun. As often as I try to leverage my not so world class education in an effort to optimize the operational endeavors I am utilizing with my market leading customers, I often just interface with myself endlessly. Or I stare into space and ideate. Glen- do you really want to defend utilize, and optimize and god almighty, operationalize? I am with Laura all the way. I don't think this has anything to do with dumbing down at all. I respectfully argue that this is about clearing business language of tired, overused and dreadful "communication solutions" that have come to mean nothing. And so don't connect people to one another. The closer business language tracks to real human speech, the more emotional it can be, and the more genuine. Thanks for posting this Glenn.

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Glenn Murray wrote on September 9th, 2013

Yeah, it all comes down to the audience, eh Desolie? :-)

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Glenn Murray wrote on September 9th, 2013

Hi Richard. Thanks for your comment. I wasn't defending "operationalize" but, yes, I was defending "utilize" and "optimize" (in some cases). Did you read my justification above? I'd be interested to hear your thoughts on them...

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Camilla Peffer wrote on September 13th, 2013

This x 100! I think the KISS rule risks alienating your target audience. By keeping things simple (read - safe and easily digestible), copy becomes far too bland and lacks any persuasive nuance. Long tail and all that jazz.

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Glenn Murray wrote on September 15th, 2013

Exactly. Rules always lead to vanilla.

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Words on a page wrote on December 13th, 2013

[…] Are copywriters keen on dumbng down verbs? […]

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