My new boxers, and why you should care

November 29, 2017 •
Not me not in my car not in my new undies

I just bought some new boxers. Silky smooth, fitted bamboo. Lovely stuff!

They’re so good, I even signed up for a account, and wrote a long review of them (click to zoom on this an all other images):

My review of StepOne boxers


Well, it’s relevant from a copywriting point of view, because of this bit in my review:

Quote about gimmicks

You see, having spent hundreds (well, alright, dozens) of dollars trialling new boxers, over the years, I was hesitant to shell out for these ones, based purely on their say-so. But their copy made me trust them.

For starters, there was their home page headline:

StepOne home page headline

Closely followed by this:

Brief product descriptions

And this :

Funny stats

Then the anti-riding message reiterated here, aimed specifically at me and my tree-trunk thighs:

Copy reinforces message about big thighs

Then this whole section, but particularly the highlighted bit:

Copy reinforces big thigh message again

I was now engaged enough that I checked out their About page:

About page copy

I overlooked the errors because, as I’ve always said, actually saying something is more important than being 100% erra-free.

The error – and others I noticed later – told me these guys are probably writing their own copy, which actually reinforced the authenticity of the message.

All of this copy was speaking directly to all of the issues I’ve had previously with boxers, in a voice that resonated. Their copy says:

  • “We’re like you”
  • “You’ve had to put up with substandard for too long”
  • “We don’t take ourselves too seriously”
  • “We’re Aussie”
  • “We’re approachable and real”
  • “These boxers will DEFINITELY resolve your problem”

So I took the plunge and bought 2 pairs.

Immediately after ordering, they threw some personal and active language at me:

Order confirmation copy

They didn’t say, “Your order has been accepted”, they said, “We’ve accepted your order”. They didn’t say, “and is now being processed”, they said, “and we’re getting it ready”. All of this implies there were real people there, serving me with a sense of urgency.

Then they followed this up with a Facebook chat:

Facebook chat order confirmation copy

Ya see that?


Contractions! Get on ‘em, people. They’re friendly, easy to read and personal. I knew it was a chatbot, but I felt like I was in chat with a person. (If you don’t know what’s acceptable and what’s not, when it comes to contractions, check out my definitive, brooks no argument, infographic on the matter.)

Followed closely by this email:

Order confirmation email copy

Play on words? Check.
Contractions? Check.
Humour? Check.
Fun? Check.
Anticipation? Check.
Instructions? Check.
Punchy? Check.
Certainty? Check.

Then this email the next day:

Shipping confirmation email copy

Again errors, but again overlooked because the message shines through. These guys are no longer just a retailer, they have a personality. And their product will be imbued with that personality, making it far more likely I’ll like it.

Then they arrived. In this:

Delivery satchel copy

And each pair was in one of these little zip-lock bags:

Zip lock bag copy

Again, they reinforce the Aussie message. (Generally I’m not a fan of superfluous packaging, but I actually use these ziplock bags, so they’re forgiven.)

A few weeks later, this was in my inbox:

Discount code email copy

Again, humour, punchiness, contractions. And again an error. (I’m actually beginning to wonder if those errors are deliberate?)

Then recently this:

EDM copy

I had to get me a piece of that action:

Facebook post cutting up boxers

And their reply was again personal and Aussie.

For my troubles, I got a $29 voucher, which I put towards another 4 pairs. But this time, I got a new email after order and shipping confirmation:

Product review request copy

They’d already entertained me, proved they’re just like me, reinforced the Aussie battler image, showed me I was dealing with a personality, and persuaded me to create a public display of product loyalty. So I was already somewhat on the journey with them. Now they were explicitly invoking that metaphor and asking for my help.

I’m naturally the sort of person who’ll offer positive reviews when I think they’re deserved. And the Aussie battler message resonated with me. Not just because I come from that background myself, but because I live on the Central Coast of NSW, where good quality (restaurants, cafes, service generally) is hard to come by, so I’ve learned to proactively support – and even champion it – when I find it. Just so it survives and I can continue to enjoy it!

So I created a account and posted the review you saw at the beginning of this post.

And all (or, at least, most) of that was because of their copy.

Not bad, eh?

The moral to the story

To me, the important thing here is that they chose a personality, and they stuck to it, end-to-end. The rest of their marketing was good too (esp their Facebook presence, which was where I first saw them), and their service was great. But it definitely wouldn’t have been the same without the great copy.

Have you seen any great copy lately?

If you’ve spotted some great copy lately, I’d love to hear about it. Please comment below, so we can all enjoy. 🙂

Feel free to comment...
comment avatar
Rebecca Djapovic wrote on November 29th, 2017

Glenn, What a fabulous post. Entertaining and full of personality yourself. See you on the FB, Bec Djapovic

comment avatar
Glenn Murray wrote on November 29th, 2017

Thanks Bec! Very kind of you. I had to tone it down, actually. Writing about undies, I got a little carried away! ;-)

comment avatar
Paul Jones wrote on November 29th, 2017

Awesome post, Glenn. You drew out some great copywriting points.

comment avatar
Glenn Murray wrote on November 29th, 2017

Thanks mate. I've been meaning to write this post ever since my first purchase from them. Very cool.

comment avatar
Polly Hearsey wrote on November 30th, 2017

Brilliant post Glenn and super useful to share with my community as it taps into what I talk about endlessly - creating an end to end experience that engages and entertains your audience. Thank you.

comment avatar
Steve wrote on November 30th, 2017

Never would I have thought a journey to buy boxers would be this informative, entertaining and convincing. Gonna buy a pair right now! I have high expectations, Glenn! Thanks for taking us with you

comment avatar
Rochelle Bright wrote on November 30th, 2017

Wow, Glenn. Until I read this post, I thought the Melbourne designer I occasionally throw money at had cornered the market on cool content. This is better. Much better. I suspect my partner will soon be a Step One convert. Thanks for the laugh and the lesson.

comment avatar
Glenn Murray wrote on November 30th, 2017

Thanks Polly! Yep, it's pretty rare, isn't it? The end to end experience, I mean.

comment avatar
Glenn Murray wrote on November 30th, 2017

Thanks mate. You won't regret it!

comment avatar
Glenn Murray wrote on November 30th, 2017

Very bloody cool! :-)

comment avatar
Di Challenor wrote on November 30th, 2017

This is bloody awesome. Great post! And I'm now in love with Step-One. Guess what hubby's gett'n for Christmas!

comment avatar
Glenn Murray wrote on November 30th, 2017

It seems there are going to be a few lucky husbands this Christmas!

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